Thursday, October 18, 2007


Well, it's been months and months since I posted. I'm a lousy blogger. Lots has been happening, mostly at the Center (formerly The Wet Spot). I've got a blog on the Center website that I do post in at least weekly, but hey, it's my job. :)

I guess I just either can't find the time or don't think that what I've got to say is that important. I'll try to change, but you know what they say about leopards and spots (or is it old dogs and tricks..hmmm).

Aynway, my cousin Veronica is in town and I've got to get my place ready for her to stay here and I've got Center e-mail to answer, and I'm getting ready to leave next week on a cruise to British Columbia. Mmmmmm. My life is good. (I've got a couple fabulous new people in my life, too. Yup, life is good)

Have a great one!


Saturday, February 17, 2007


I am so excited. We (Teri Ciacchi, David W and I) just published our second podcast this week. And I got to do some of the technical work. What fun. Of course the Mac that David bought for our project and the software Garageband really made it easy. It's amazing how simple podcasting is.

What kind of podcast, you ask? We are doing a series of sex ed podcasts directed at those men we affectionately call, Weenie White Boys. The podcast is called Weenie White Boy World. Now I know some of you may bristle at the term, but face it, it is a world for weenie white boys (just look at our current administration) and there are a lot of men who could use some sex positive education so we're offering it.

Please check out the podcasts for yourself and let me know what you think. And, because we do know that the term Weenie White Boy is a bit loaded, we are looking for alternative (and just as catchy) names. Feel free to send me your suggestions.

So, enjoy the podcasts and tell me what you think.

Episode 1
Episode 2


Wednesday, January 31, 2007

On Writing

I realized recently that I'm not a bad writer. I had this weird story that because my spelling sucks (thank the Goddess for spellcheck) and my grammar sometimes is off that I really wasn't that good of a writer. Recently a few things have happened that made me realize that I'm actually pretty good.

The biggest thing was the acknowledgement I received from Robert Rubel, the editor of Power Exchange Magazine. He actually gave me a break on the deadline of my most recent article because he thought my work was so "clean". I guess that means he didn't have to edit it that much. And when I sent him my that article he wrote back "God you're a good writer. Thanks so much. I'm having a Fabulous Afternoon reading it". That made my day.

I guess it's time to admit it. I'm a good writer. So this week I started my second book (most of you don't know that I co-wrote a young adult science fiction novel in the mid 90's. Never published but a fun read). The book is evolving. I was going to write just about how to break up and remain in a loving relationship with your partner while doing so. I realized while working on the outline that loving break-ups (actually I don't even like the term break-up. Really it's just an altering of the relationship. I'll have to work on a better term) come from having a loving relationship that was structured from the beginning to last. And that changes in a relationship (ie: divorce, death, separation, etc) are inevitable and how we deal with those changes are up to us. The book was going to be called Happy Endings. That will be a large section of the book, but it won't be the whole book. I think now it's going to be about Beginnings, Middles and Endings.

I have a request for you, my readers. For those of you who have had positive relationship endings I'd love to hear about them. A short story about how you were able to maintain a good relationship through it all and what steps you took to make it so. Write me at



Saturday, January 06, 2007

Happy New Year!

Wow! It's a new year and a bright and exciting one at that. This is the time of year that I like to look at what I'm thankful for (I never make New Year's Resolutions, a waste of energy in my opinion). I have so much to be thankful for. Here's a partial list.

*My wonderful partners and poly family. You all know who you are.

*The amazing people in my life, too numerous to list. Kinky friends, Landmark friends, Wet Spot friends, Co-op friends, old cafe day friends, new friends, sex-education friends, even friends from my old hippie days all bring me joy and happiness.

*My bio family. I've been privileged to get to know mother (I didn't meet her until I was 19) as more than a mother, but as a good friend. My Aunt, my brothers, my sister and her amazing family, my step mother and her husband, Grandma and my incredible cousin, Veronica are all such important parts of my life.

*My job! Who else can say they are the executive director of a Sex Positive Community Center. No one. I am truly blessed.

*Erotic Seattle Education LLC that I share with Teri and Pan. We're getting ready to take the world by storm, beginning with Seattle and not stopping until we've covered the planet. :)

*Deciding to be a lifestyle coach. I can't tell you have fulfilling this has been. Knowing that I'm making a such difference in people's lives is thrilling.

*My Co-op. I live in the absolutely coolest co-op. It's inhabited by an eclectic group of Seattlites with the average age of, I'd say 75.

*My health. Goddess willing, it continues to be fine. Oh, I'm creaking and crackling here and there and I'd love to lose a bit of weight, but overall I'm happy and healthy and on my way to living to be 110.

*Those of you who read this blog. I'm always surprised when someone comes up to me and says, "I read your blog today". Not that what I write isn't worth reading, but that sending a post out into the "ether" is not always that personal and it's always a bit of a jolt to realize that others read what I write.

*Speaking of writing, I'm thankful that I've got several writing projects and friends who are going to keep at me to keep at it.

There's more that I'm thankful for, but I'll leave it at this for now.

I just want to say that I'm looking forward to 2007 and beyond. As it has been already said, "The best is yet to come."


Friday, December 29, 2006


Well, I'm never going to be much of a blogger and I won't promise to blog more often. However, I do pop in once and awhile and here I am tonight.

Just a short post about what I've been up to this month.

Let's see. I went on a cruise at the beginning of the month. My Mom turned 70 so my Aunt and I treated her to a cruise to Key West and Mexico. It was (to quote Dickens) "The best of times. It was the worst of times." Cruises are fun. Spending time with my Mom and Aunt was great. Pushing my Mom around in a wheelchair when her scooter broke, wasn't so great. Did I mention that Mom and my Aunt are both mobility challenged and brought scooters on the trip. Anyway, I'm living proof that you can lose weight on a cruise...I did.

Then, after I got back, I was sick for awhile. Did my best to catch up with work and friends before the holidays.

I had to make a deadline for the second article that I've written for a new magazine, called Power Exchange. I've been asked to write a monthly column on Activism. It's a bit daunting, but great fun. And it's getting me used to writing and that's very important, as I really want to finish one of my books this coming year.

Last week I went to my sister's in California to spend Christmas with her whole family, my Stepmother and Step Grandmother and my cousin, Veronica Monet (I think I've mentioned her before). First time since 1979. I was pretty apprehensive about going since it's been so long and I never got along well with my Stepmother. However, it turned out to be just great. I got to spend time with my niece's daughter (I'm a Grand Aunt...How cool is that?) and also get to know my Step Mother's current husband better. And one of my nephews is even moving to Seattle next month, so I got to talk to him about what to expect (and promise my sister to only introduce him to girls who want to move to California).

Then last Wednesday, after getting back in town Jim and I drove up to Vancouver to spend a belated Christmas with Jennifer and her daughter. It was the perfect capper to a great holiday.

Now I'm back in Seattle and getting ready for New Year's Eve at The Wet Spot.

I just realized that I haven't mentioned sex at all yet. Well, it's not been the most highly sexual month. People think that I get laid way more than I do. Lately, with pre-menopause and the holidays and a few other blips in my life, it's been pretty barren.

Oh, except for a great evening a few weeks ago with my boy, alex. He's such a "cat". Sometimes he's in the mood, sometimes he's not. This time he was. His masochist came out to play. At my request he wore sexy disposable clothing and after I tied him up over a spanking bench, I slowly cut off his clothes and bit, licked, spanked and caned each body part that I exposed. And that was just his warm up.

Later I had him on the bondage bed (we were at The Wet Spot after hours.) After beating his ass with his least favorite toy, I turned him over and played with his cock, wrapping it in his favorite leather cock ring and attaching it to my tens unit. Every time I turned up the tens unit he jumped and I sucked and kissed his cock. Pretty soon his pain and pleasure responses became all jumbled up. :) This got me super horny, so I climbed on top of him and he gave me a great orgasm while I continued to torture his penis.

Then the Grand Finale! Two needles through his nipples. Then the best part, cuddling and making him feel good again (he doesn't like needles).

Hmmm. That was a fun night.

So, where was I? Oh, New Year's Eve. The Wet Spot has a great party, complete with dancing, play, food, sparkling cider and noise makers. And that's when Jennifer and I bring in the New Year with our own special tradition. Right after midnight we find a cozy spot, grab our noise makers and give ourselves our first orgasms of the year. It's a noisy masturbation scene. Daddy (Jim) sits in a chair and watches with this proud smile that he gets when his girls are having fun together.

So, that's how I plan on ending 2006 and beginning 2007. What are you doing?


Saturday, November 25, 2006


First of all, I want to acknowledged that I've been very remiss in posting (months have gone by...yikes). No excuses...I'm just not a regular blogger and probably never will be. However, at the request of several people in my life (hi Elliot) I am posting today.

Why masturbation? Well, there has been this new conversation that has occurred within my community about this very subject. I've actually been challenged by several Wet Spot members that our current policy against solo masturbation play is not very sex positive. And, upon reflection, these guys were right.

Last week I held a salon about Masturbation at the Liberty Bar on Capital Hill (the salon is part of an ongoing series that Teri Ciacchi and myself are producing through our small business, Erotic Seattle Education...more about that at another time.) The salons are our attempt to create and alter conversations about sexuality. The salon on masturbation was well received and sparked not only a great dialogue, but some ideas that we hope to bring to fruition in the future.

One of the ideas is to create a Coed Masturbation Group. Loosely base it on The Rain City Jacks and hopefully have at least one coed masturbation event a month at the Wet Spot. This is a huge departure from the norm. Getting women to attend will be problematic, however we've got some ideas to increase safety and reduce the "creep" factor. One is having strict guidelines around touching and non-masturbatory sex. By the way, I am open to suggestions, if anyone out there wants to pipe up.

We also are looking at creating more masturbation friendly spaces at our regular events. To stop "ghettoizing" masturbation by putting the Jack and Jill areas in tiny corners or closets.

I'm excited to be part of changing the culture and conversation about masturbation. I look forward to seeing our ideas flourish.

And, if you're interested, come to The Wet Spot's New Year's Eve Party and you'll see me and my girlfriend, Jennifer, bring in the New Year's in our traditional fashion (yes,it does involve masturbation).

Have a great day!

Oh, one last note. Candye Kane will be at the Wet Spot this coming Wednesday for one performance only. Not to be missed. You can get tickets at Brown Paper Tickets.


Saturday, September 23, 2006

Guess Where I Am?

Wow, here I am sitting in a great little cafe in Oakland, waiting for a call from Tonya (a great friend of mine who also lives in Seattle and makes amazing fetish clothing) so we can to with her boy to see Tigers! Not many of you know, but I love big cats. In fact, if I met the right big cat . . . nah, shouldn't go there. Her boy used to work with an organization that takes care of "retired" tigers. I'm very excited.

Anyway, Tonya and I are in the Bay area for Folsom Street Fair, which happens tomorrow in San Francisco. Surprisingly, I've never been. All these year's I've been kinky and I haven't made it to the biggest leather fair in the country. So, today it's tigers, tonight it's a women's play party and tomorrow it's Folsom. Then it's on to Las Vegas to meet up with Jennifer where I'm going to show her the lights.

I'm on a real vacation. Hard to believe. And, while I'm ostentatiously not here for work, I can't help but promote the Seattle Erotic Art Festival or talk to strangers about The Wet Spot.

Last night we went to an art opening for Midori's newest work. And of course the first people I run into are a bunch of Seattlites. We met one of my favorite photographers and good friend, David Steinberg and his lovely friend Kim. From Midori's opening we went to a late dinner at a diner called Mels and then David and Kim took me to Divas, one of two transgender lounges in the country. That was an amazing experience. David has recently produced an incredible show of trans women who work at or frequent Divas. We hope to have him back in Seattle for the art festival and if we do, we also hope to get him a gallery show of his Trans work.

So far the trip has been fun and uneventful. I'm staying with a delightful
couple in the Oakland area (good friends of some good friends) so I'm meeting lots of new people. Even handed my card to a cute women in line at the coffee shop I'm in and I'm talking right now to a cute, non-kinky boy about Folsom. Life is good.

Well, got to go check e-mail.

Talk to you soon.