Saturday, February 25, 2006

Compersion

Compersion n: The feeling of taking joy in the joy that others you love share among themselves, especially taking joy in the knowledge that your beloveds are expressing their love for one another. Coined by the Keristan Commune in San Francisco whyich practiced Polyfideltiy.

What an amazing concept. I’ve heard compersion defined as the opposite of jealousy and that works, too.

I’m at South Plains Leatherfest this weekend presenting on two topics, BDSM and Humor and Polyamory. Yesterday my BDSM and Humor workshop we4nt over well (another posting perhaps) and today my Polyamory class was a huge hit. As usual I come away from these workshops having gained as much as I give.

Much of what I said has been said before and many of the participants were already active poly, so much of my workshop was ‘preaching to the choir’, so to speak. But when I brought up ‘compersion’ as usual it was a concept that few had heard of. I’m always amazed that a concept so profound and of such importance to those in the poly lifestyle is still so obscure.

As I talked about comparison and how it manifests in my life I was thrilled to see the participants eyes light up. I’d hit on something big. One woman who had seen my family at Leather Leadership two years ago in New Orleans shared that not only had she been impressed by Jennifer and I cuddling under a blanket during the weekend, but that she had been profoundly touched to witness my watching of Jim suspending Jennifer and how it was very obvious how much in love I was with both of them. She was obviously moved by the retelling and I was even more moved by her sharing.

As I’ve mentioned before, we never know when our lives touch others, I was thrilled that someone had witnessed me in the midst of compersion.

After the workshop I had several people come up to me just to give me a hug or to thank me and offer to me that I had already made a difference in their life.

Wow, how cool is that?

Well, I’m off to the dungeon party to play with a very cool gay Top who is an expert with singletails. Lucky me.

Allena

PS: You can read a bit more about my poly family in Mistress Matisse's column in this week's Stranger.

3 comments:

me me me me me said...

I have never felt feelings of jealousy when it comes to sex between my HIM and HER... I have more positive feelings that I am sharing something wonderful and healthy with her when they are having their alone time. These are the thoughts I work on focusingon when the negative ones work their way up... Is that along the lines of compersion. I realize I hvae a long way to go, but work each day. Great article, BTW, she did a great job of presenting the info.

Allena said...

Sounds to me that what you experience with HIM and HER is definitly compersion. Congratulations.

Allena

me me me me me said...

Now... If I could just cut out the rest of the drama :) but thats for another post.
Thank you for sharing btw.